A Living Wake: What Exactly Is It?

If you're curious about what your family and friends might say about you at your funeral, then perhaps a 'living wake' is for you! The concept of celebrating a person's life while they are still alive at a memorial event called a ‘living wake’ has gained popularity in recent years. As people become less focused on traditional ceremonies, they are more open to unique ways of marking life's milestones.

A living wake can be especially fitting for someone who is terminally ill, offering benefits to both the honoree and their close family and friends. Kate Morgan from Tomorrow Funerals, who offer modern funeral services, says they are an increase of people looking to celebrate life in this unique way. 

Journalist Catherine Lambert described a memorable living wake she attended, called "Cocktails in the Departure Lounge," for her friend, Melbourne photographer John Hoerner.

Catherine noted that the invitation insisted on "laughter and cheer being compulsory," and it turned out to be "one of the best of their many great parties."

After the event, John's wife Alison Waters remarked, "To celebrate a life well-lived is a joy, and aside from helping me so much, Johnny also loved it. We stayed up all night afterward talking about it."

A Living Wake in Action

Funeral Celebrant, Melissa Jacob, specialises in conducting living wakes. She explained that she loves "the freedom this kind of event gives people in choosing how they'd like to say goodbye."

"One thing beautifully reflected in all the living wakes I've been a part of is the overwhelming outpouring of love for the honoree," she said.

Melissa recounted a living wake she conducted for Fred, who was diagnosed with bowel cancer and given six months to live. As his health declined, he found it difficult to keep up with the constant requests from friends to visit. This led Fred to plan a living wake, inviting his community to a winter bonfire in his backyard. Guests were asked to dress warmly and bring their stories.

As the celebrant, or storyteller, Melissa led the group as they shared their many stories of Fred. There were drinks and campfire-roasted marshmallows. Everyone laughed, cried, and took time to say long goodbyes to Fred.

Melissa explained that "as the guests left, their common feedback was that they had arrived with great trepidation but left with full hearts, having had a real chance to say farewell."

Afterward, Fred sent Melissa a note thanking her for one of the greatest nights of his life. He passed away two weeks later.

What is a Living Wake?

Instead of a traditional funeral held after someone has died, a living wake takes place while they are still alive and present. It can be a formal ceremony, a relaxed party with impromptu speeches, or a combination of both.

Celebrating someone in the final stage of their life will likely evoke strong emotions like sadness and fear, but it can also be a warm and uplifting way to acknowledge relationships and share their life story.

What are the Benefits of a Living Wake?

Kate Morgan explained, "A living wake can be as important for the family and friends of the person dying as it is for the one whose life is being celebrated. It provides a space for people to formally say what they need to before the death, creating an incredibly bonding and cathartic experience if done well."

Generally, our culture tends to avoid discussions about death. However, many people and cultures believe that accepting our mortality is liberating. For those who can embrace this, a living wake can be a truly extraordinary experience.

How Do I Arrange a Living Wake?

To organise a living wake, it's a good idea to book an experienced celebrant who will take the time to listen and prepare an event that includes all the important things that need to be said and done.

If you are planning a living wake for yourself or someone who is terminally ill, Tomorrow Funerals advise their single package offers a simple solution and includes everything you need. They start by carefully matching you with one of their dedicated and creative celebrants to craft a beautiful ceremony or help plan the party of a lifetime! When the time comes, a dignified cremation is included, and for some, knowing these arrangements are pre-booked and paid for provides great comfort.

Can I Arrange My Own Living Wake?

Absolutely! Tomorrow provides everything you need to plan your own living wake, along with information on pre-planning sessions. The business is focused on finding unique and memorable ways to celebrate life and help families understand the many available options.

We’re always here to help.

Find out about Tomorrow Funerals