Who is a Funeral Ceremony For? Why Ceremony and Ritual is Still Important

Across all cultures and throughout history, humans have developed various ways to formalise the process of bidding farewell and grieving together. From the conventional suburban funeral in a funeral home to captivating smoking ceremonies held beneath the moonlit sky—whether it's an energetic procession of dancers escorting a body for cremation or a solemn service led by a religious figure—rituals surrounding death are intrinsic to life.

Kate Morgan, Co-founder of  Tomorrow Funerals, said, “For many, honouring a person’s life is a crucial aspect of expressing grief and love after someone dies.”

However, in modern Australian culture, it's increasingly common to hear sentiments like "I don't want a funeral," "Don't mourn for me," or "I don't want anyone to be sad" from our elders. It seems as though the notion of a 'non-funeral' has gained traction, perhaps seen as a way to lessen pain by foregoing a gathering of family and friends.

But how might this perspective of ‘not’ honouring a life  serve those left behind?

Francis Weller, renowned author, psychotherapist, and educator specialising in grief and sorrow, emphasises the transformative power of mourning. He writes, “Rituals bring us face-to-face with the reality of losing those we cherish. Letting go is a challenging skill, yet one we must practise. Each loss, personal or collective, prepares us for our own departure. Letting go isn’t passive acceptance but an acknowledgment of life’s fleeting nature. This realisation invites us to cherish fully in the present, while what we cherish is here.”

“As a funeral director and celebrant deeply involved with families,” said Ms Morgan,“I have seen firsthand how ceremony profoundly impacts the grieving journey. 

What matters most to me is assisting families in creating ceremonies imbued with personal significance. Whether we innovate new rituals or honour age-old traditions, a memorial or funeral serves as a tribute to the departed, allowing us to celebrate their life and reflect on their influence. More importantly, it fosters communal mourning, forging deep connections among attendees.”

Collective grief possesses the power to unite people. When we gather to mourn a loved one, our goal is to provide a space where everyone feels heard, supported, and comforted—a conducive environment for initiating healing. In a world that often encourages emotional suppression and stoicism, these moments of vulnerability and connection can be transformative, offering a unique opportunity to contemplate life’s natural cycle.

Ms Morgan added this, “In my work with grieving families, I strive to dismantle the stigma surrounding death. Part of this effort involves encouraging families to explore creative ways of celebrating their loved one, rather than adhering to outdated funeral conventions.

Grieving openly, alongside loved ones, is a deeply human experience. I approach my role with utmost seriousness while also infusing warmth and compassion. Ultimately, my aim is to create a space where individuals can feel at ease, be creative, gather, remember, mourn, and draw strength from one another.”

Kate Morgan serves as Head of Memorials at Tomorrow Funerals, a progressive Australian funeral service dedicated to reimagining the commemoration of life.

We’re always here to help.

Find out about Tomorrow Funerals