Powerful Life Lessons from Shonel Bryant: Embracing Impermanence and Duality

Impermanence and duality have profoundly shaped the journey of Tomorrow Funerals team members. Recognising the transient nature of life and embracing the constant duality experienced has allowed them to view death from a different and very unique perspective.

Insights from an Industry Centred on Death

Paradoxically, working in an industry focused on death teaches us a great deal about life. One of the most inspiring individuals we've encountered is Shonel Bryant.

We learned about Shonel through Jo Betz, who recently hosted a ‘renewal of vows’ ceremony for Shonel and her husband, Luke. This ceremony was one of many meaningful activities the couple has undertaken since Shonel's new diagnosis.

Despite overcoming cancer twice, Shonel recently discovered that her cancer has returned at stage 4, with no clear timeline for how long she has left. 

Meeting Shonel and Luke

When we met Shonel and Luke on a New Year’s Eve Zoom call, we encountered a couple at peace with their situation, not a young woman angry at the world. Shonel’s acceptance of her condition has allowed her to cherish every moment, appreciating each hug, sunset, and beautiful experience as if it might be the last.

A Conversation with Shonel Bryant

Tell us about yourself, your work as a designer and stylist, and Nomad Styling.

I am a passionate individual who pours my heart into everything I do. Years ago, I founded Nomad Styling, an event styling business that evolved into a creative enterprise trusted by couples worldwide to design and style their weddings authentically.

Just as I was about to travel to Morocco and Switzerland for weddings and had begun running workshops, I received my initial diagnosis. I immediately closed my business to focus on healing.

Can you share about your cancer diagnosis and journey?

In October 2019, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Triple Negative Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive cancer affecting younger women. I underwent chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation, and was declared clear.

Seven months later, a routine check revealed another cancerous lump. I was among the 2% who experience such recurrence. After further treatment, I was again cleared.

However, a persistent cough and subsequent tests revealed extensive cancerous lesions, leading to a stage 4 terminal diagnosis with a very poor prognosis.

Why and when did you start ‘Support Your Girls’?

I started Support Your Girls during my first diagnosis to share a documentary series about my journey. The platform aims to promote early detection among young people, who often face dismissal of symptoms by doctors. The initiative includes selling slogan t-shirts to spark conversations and provide self-check cards. Over time, it has grown into a supportive community.

Can you share about your journey to acceptance?

Witnessing my mother's death from cancer in my 20s and facing my own diagnoses helped me understand and process heavy information. Each diagnosis brought me closer to acceptance, and my terminal diagnosis fast-tracked this process. What once felt like understanding has now become a deeper knowing ingrained in me.

What stands out in making an end-of-life plan?

Honouring my needs and desires has made planning end-of-life arrangements surprisingly enjoyable. Balancing my wishes with my family’s needs has provided comfort. For me, focusing on what I want while allowing flexibility has been crucial.

What are you most proud of in your journey?

I am proud of my ability to be present with whatever is in front of me, without trying to control it. Initially, there was urgency to set things up for my family. Now, a more organic, peaceful state has emerged, positively affecting my loved ones.

Any regrets or things you would do differently?

None. Every step has been natural and a learning experience. Embracing gratitude has been key in overcoming fear and anxiety.

Advice for choosing funeral providers, doctors, and carers?

Trust your instincts. In times of stress, clarity can be elusive. Following my gut has never led me astray, whether choosing surgeons or funeral providers like Tomorrow Funerals, who resonated with my needs and expectations.

One thing you wish everyone knew?

There is immense beauty in experiencing joy and heartbreak simultaneously. Embracing both with an open heart reveals the magic of life. Leaning into these moments allows us to appreciate the profound beauty in life’s dualities.

Tomorrow Funerals feel fortunate to have played a small part in Shonel’s journey. Our deepest love and support go out to her family.

Check out Support Your Girls, Shonel’s initiative promoting breast cancer awareness and early detection.

On the early morning of Friday, January 21, 2022, Shonel passed away peacefully at home with her husband, Luke, by her side. We were honoured to care for her and ensure her final wishes were fulfilled. Our deepest condolences to her loved ones.

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